Children need us to guide them, they need us to help direct their emotions and more importantly name or even recognise their feelings. Most parents will praise their children when they do something good, or even bad. For example, they threw a toy but owned up to it. Talking the positive (that they owned up) is a great place to start but also letting them know that throwing the toy was not nice also must be mentioned.
But have you ever thought how we can empower our children? I am a huge advocate for body positivity, and I wish that I had learned to love myself from a younger age. Not only does it help with self-confidence, but it may have taught me not to settle for little. I am sure we can all relate to this when I say that I 100% settled in my twenties for less than I had to because I did not see myself as something special. It is about teaching our children that they matter, that they can love themselves and about self-worth.
I have started a new routine with my girls (this is 100% for boys too!!) asking them to say a positive thing about themselves. Not so much about pretty eyes or smiles but that they are strong or brave and most importantly that they love themselves. My little one doesn’t just say it to me, she looks in the mirror and says it to yourself. I am really working towards helping them grow up confident and happy. I have created a video showing you how I implement these changes in our day. You can watch it here
That is all I want, I want them to not be vulnerable, to not be persuaded into making wrong decisions, to be confident enough saying NO - the list goes on. I think we all want this for our children, right? To create and raise happy kids. I am not saying my mother didn’t, she did in her own way, but I think the world is changing and we can do more. I am so happy even now in my 30’s that I have found self-love, a bit late, but I have it now. Its so empowering and wonderful to be comfortable in my own skin and I believe everyone should feel that way.
We are essentially giving them the gift of self-expression. Preparing them for what is ahead and not being afraid to express themselves. I very rarely speak about looks or weight around the children. Weight does not define you and having a beautiful smile is great to see but it won't really shine unless you shine from inside.
For the Parents
If you are still on your own self-love journey, I applaud you, Just looking for it is a start and maybe starting by talking to yourself in the mirror can help you gain the confidence to speak up and know that you truly matter as a parent, as a partner, as a human.
No matter how you decided to guide your children to that wonderful place, you are doing a great job. Remember, everyone is different, every parent has their own unique way of raising their own children. Never judge someone else’s style, we are all doing great.
I would love to hear from you and if you found this helpful. I would love you to follow my journey and connect on Instagram or if you fancy to read my blog . Other blogs you may enjoy are ‘Words for Motherhood’ or ‘A way to make time for YOU’
Liz Alexander also known as The Mummy Editorial. Liz is mum of two girls and through birth trauma and positive birth has come to create a blog. She is now on a journey to empower other women in their postpartum bodies to find self love. Take a look at her website www.themummyeditorial.com